It all started, casually enough, when my wife remarked, “I’d bet Underworld would make for good workout music,” during a discussion of what to stock the iPod Shuffle with before heading to the gym. I don’t remember much after that, as synapses immediately began firing and I became lost in my own wild, mixtape-obsessive thoughts, suddenly furiously determined to tackle my goal of crafting the ultimate Underworld workout mix.  For those in the dark, Underworld – comprised of the core duo of Karl Hyde and Rick Smith – was the premier electronic act of the ’90s (barely edging out those Hartnoll brothers and Alex Paterson), yet perhaps their most impressive feat is how little their music has dated since their heyday fifteen years ago, at least to these ears.  More importantly, and for our purposes here, the bpm count works wonders for shaving off a few calories.  I spent more time and microscopic tinkering on this mix than was certainly necessary but overall I’m pleased with it, and would be proud to offer it as an Underworld primer for novices in lieu of its inherent function as strictly “workout music.”

Underworld: An Eraser of Love 62:44 (.zip - 113.98 MB at 192 kbps)

Born Slippy .NUXX
Push Upstairs
King of Snake
Pearls’ Girl
Jumbo
Born Slippy .NUXX (Paul Oakenfold Mix)
Spoon Deep
Two Month’s Off
Kiteless
Cups
Dark & Long (Dark Train)
Cherry Pie
Dinosaur Adventure 3D
Jumbo (Future Shock Worlds Apart Mix)
Cowgirl
Cowgirl (Winjer Mix)
Mo Move
Beautiful Burnout (Mark Knight Mix)
Dirty Epic (Dirty Guitar Mix)
Tiny Clicks

What’s that?  A mix summary in 601 words?  Sure, I’ll give it a shot:

An Eraser of Love can be subdivided into three tempo-dictated sections, each one roughly 20 minutes in duration.  At ~140 bpm, “Born Slippy. NUXX” was really the most fitting way to kick things off, and if its dirty, thunderous kick doesn’t raise your blood pressure in the slightest, don’t bother with the rest of the mix.  Most know it from Trainspotting (1996), and it’s the cut that encapsulates everything that Underworld was about during their prime.  ”Push Upstairs” was never my favorite of the group’s run of singles (Hyde’s vocal effect is too borderline hammy for my taste), but it worked well in the sequencing here.  The gated, screeching wail that skyrockets across “King of Snake,” however, never gets stale.  ”Pearl’s Girl” was my jam back in my late teens; the drum programming alone was revelatory then and still sounds fresh today. Its searing intensity subsides into “Jumbo,” easily one of my top five favorite Underworld cuts. Those pads are like a warm sunshower in late spring.  Paul Oakenfold’s remix of a revisited “Born Slippy. NUXX” in 2003 was the only reason worth picking up that single – nothing could top the original, and attempting to ‘modernize’ it was one of the more questionable moves in the group’s career. I’ve never cared for Oakenfold’s glossy techno-by-numbers but his remix is a fitting conclusion to the first third of the mix, mostly because the blend from the coda in “Jumbo” worked shockingly well.  (I added the brief “Spoon Deep” underneath for atmosphere.)

“Two Months Off,” at ~134 bpm, brings the light in to open the second part of the mix. The subtlety with which this track builds on top of itself is astonishing, and it even sports a cowbell to boot.  I would have liked to incorporate more of the “Juanita/Kiteless/To Dream of Love” juggernaut here, but the midsection was the only part that I could utilize, to say nothing of its seamless juxtaposition with the outro from “Cups.” In all likelihood, I would have probably discarded the entire mix altogether if “Dark & Long (Dark Train)” wasn’t able to make it to the party; another top fiver for sure.  ”Cherry Pie” always made me wish it substituted for its inferior sibling “Rowla” on Second Toughest in the Infants (1996).  ”Dinosaur Adventure 3D,” much like sleepers “Kittens” and “Confusion the Waitress,” was a grower for me and remains one of the meager few applications of Auto-Tune that I’m able to stomach these days.

The clouds suddenly part for the Future Shock Worlds Apart Mix of “Jumbo,” which might as well be subtitled “Ibiza at Sunset.”  The compression is almost overwhelming here, just as much of an instrument as the keys or vocals.  This remix introduces the final third of the mix, which pulses along at ~129 bpm.  Is there another cut in the Underworld oeuvre that overflows with more ecstatic and carefree fun than “Cowgirl“? Its mandatory presence is followed by the “Winjer Mix” because I needed a transition to the hypnotic and sexual “Mo Move,” another personal favorite and my vote for greatest album opener in their discography.  The relatively recent Oblivion with Bells (2007) is the only full-length that isn’t represented here; the moody, introspective atmosphere of most of its selections wasn’t exactly workout-friendly.  Mark Knight’s remix of “Beautiful Burnout” (from Oblivion’s sister album of remixes The Bells The Bells [2008]), on the other hand, blended too perfectly with “Mo Move” to ignore.  ”Dirty Epic (Dirty Guitar Mix)” concludes the mix proper on a lighter, more buoyant note, with the underrated, beatless B-side “Tiny Clicks” serving as a brief afterthought. Enjoy.

Most music-geek acquaintances of mine have entertained an aspect of the imaginary life-as-film concept where almost every action is scored by their composer of choice: Star Wars obsessives invariably choose John Williams for example, Wu diehards would nominate The RZA, and some of the uber-serious might prefer Bártok or Stravinsky.  Personally, I would select ’60s Eurospy and ’70s Italian Sexploitation composer Piero Umiliani, whose brilliant and highly inventive scores have barely received their proper due since his passing around the turn of the century.  Even today, his music has a sort of transformative effect on the environment such that it could make an Elk’s Lodge in rural Kentucky seem like the Playboy Mansion.  The following mix is comprised of some of my favorites from Piero’s extensive (and currently expensive) catalog, with each selection meant to musically complement an event in my day as Floodwatch: International Audioblogger and Proprietor of Exquisite Musical Taste.  I will remove my tongue from my cheek as the mix comes to its conclusion.  Enjoy.

Mondo Floodwatch! 58:54 (.zip – 53.43 MB at 128 kbps)

1. “Le Ragazze dell’Arcipelago”
(from Svenzia Inferno E Paradiso [1968])
Scoring application: Main Theme/General Disposition
This piece will serve as the “opening credits,” so to speak, to my day.  Any events or activities not listed below will be scored by a variation of this theme, e.g. afternoon nap: solo piano, high-speed car chase through the streets of Rome: percussion and brass, etc.

2. “Luna d’Agosto”
(from 5 Bambole Per la Luna d’Agosto [1970])
Scoring application: Morning Wake-Up
The delicate harp arpeggio that opens this cut accompanies the wiping of sleep from my eyes, a slow stretch, and various hygiene-related tasks.

3. “La Strada del Sole”
(from Fischiando in Beat [2006])
Scoring application: Morning Drive
I hop in the whip as the tempo quickens into a peppy, bossa-like groove to guide me along the twists and curves of the picturesque Mediterranean coastline.  In my alternate existence I live on the French Riviera, by the way, as most international players do.

4. “Bossa at Seychelles”
(from La Regazza Dalla Pelle Di Luna [1972])
Scoring application: Interiors Source Music
This is a source cue as I patronize the inside of a café, a bakery, or perhaps one of those stores that sells high-tech spy/surveillance equipment.

5. “Interludio Azzurro”
(from 5 Bambole per la Luna d’Agosto [1970])
Scoring application: Moment of Reflection
Several times during the course of my day I find myself pausing to reflect on various subjects, from the seemingly infinite ways to make a pot of chili to the inexplicable critical fondling of Lil Wayne.

6. “Centrali Termiche”
(from Musicaelettronica Vol. 1 [2000])
Scoring application: Walking
Pretty self-explanatory, though I should clarify that the tempo will not match my pace (i.e. the beats falling with every successive step).  Fantastical it may be, this is not a cartoon.

7. “Sophisticated Lady”
(from Ode to Duke Ellington [1974])
Scoring application: Waiting Room Source Music
On the off chance that I find myself in the waiting room of an office, wishing I had brought a book as I thumb through old Newsweek mags, one of Piero’s many tributes to Duke will be lightly emanating from the ceiling speakers.

8. “White Sand”
(from Il Corpo [1974])
Scoring application: Beach Music
Ah, Rhode Island public beaches: where excessively high bacteria levels keep them closed for most of the year and the water is so frigid that the only things frolicking in the surf are a man’s rapidly-ascending testicles. But wait – as long as I have Piero scoring my every moment, I’m back on the Riviera, curling my toes into the sand as I gaze out into the crystalline blue water.

9. “La Foresta Incantata”
(from Angeli Bianchi… Angeli Neri [1970])
Scoring application: Panoramic Sweep of Beach
Any beach setting must include the requisite panoramic shot, which is interspersed with clips of women sunbathing, cavorting in the waves, strolling in the surf.

10. “Blue Lagoon”
(from To-Day’s Sound [1971])
Scoring application: Retail Clothing Store Interior
This is another interior source cue, but specifically for a clothing store, where I get my threads custom-tailored to suit a player’s lifestyle.

11. “Il Tuo Volto”
(from La Ragazza Fuoristrada [1971])
Scoring application: Midday Drive
The midday sun bathes the interior of my convertible Alfa Romeo as I cruise through the narrow streets of the coastal villa.

12. “Topless Party”
(from Svezia Inferno E Paradiso [1968])
Scoring application: Topless Party
Man, these top-optional, or “toptional,” parties can be a drag after a while, but given my International Audioblogger status, I’m often required to attend.

13. “Seyga Seyga”
(from La Regazza Dalla Pelle Di Luna [1972])
Scoring application: Dancing at Party
As the party continues into the evening and the alcohol flows, the revelers (still topless, of course) let their hair down and hit the dance floor.  With a little prodding, I saunter onto the bandstand and proceed to rip off a blistering guitar solo.

14. “Momento Ritmico”
(from Musicaelettronica Vol. 1 [2000])
Scoring application: Contemplation
With so much healthy competition from my brethren (see sidebar), coming up with ideas for original posts ain’t easy.  This brief theme plays as I stroke my chin and rummage through my brain for inspiration.

15. “Produzione”
(from Musicaelettronica Vol. 2 [2000])
Scoring application: Intense, Focused Typing
Suddenly I’m in the zone, typing 100 words a minute, jotting down notes, self-editing, furiously checking references for clarification.

16. “Blue Guitar”
(from Blue Nude [1977])
Scoring application: Fight Sequence
I generally lean toward the passive side of the lover/fighter dichotomy, but on the rare occasions when I’m forced to demonstrate my advanced martial arts techniques, this is the music playing.

17. “Dove Va Il Mondo”
(from Questo Sporco Mondo Meraviglioso [1971])
Scoring application: Sunset Drive
Come to think of it, I’m not sure why I have so many “driving” cues here, but this piece guides my vehicle along the road as dusk approaches the countryside.

18. “In the Village”
(from Il Corpo [1974)
Scoring application: Evening Relaxation
Back at la maison, I pour myself a beverage, cue up the hi-fi, and make my way to the patio outside to watch the sun set over the water.

19. “La Nuova Frontiera”
(from Questo Sporco Mondo Meraviglioso [1971])
Scoring application: Watching the Sunset
The sky is aglow with fiery reds and oranges while the streetlights below begin to flicker with the rush of electricity.

20. “Cantata Per Maryam”
(from La Ragazza Fuoristrada [1971])
Scoring application: Seduction Music
Again, self-explanatory.  I’m trying to keep it PG here for the seeds.

21. “Chaser”
(from Il Corpo [1974])
Scoring application: Bedroom Activities
And by that I don’t mean “sleeping.”

22. “Nostalgia”
(from Musicaelettronica Vol. 2 [2000])
Scoring application: Succumbing to Sleep
I muse over the day’s activities as sleep begins to numb my mind and body.  As far as days go, one could certainly do worse.  And I didn’t even have to use my AK.