It inevitably happens every January: no matter how exhaustively thorough I am in compiling my Year End lists the month before, a record from the previous year always turns up unexpectedly that I overlooked or completely missed altogether. In this case, I’m referring to the extraordinary Everything Wrong Is Imaginary (2006) by one-man musical outfit Lilys, led by one Kurt Heasley. I had been familiar with the band, but I don’t have the slightest recollection of hearing or reading anything about this album when it was released last summer. Little could I imagine how much goodness could be contained within its grooves (or rather ones and zeros, to be specific), and how this record would become a daily addiction for over two weeks now.

Truthfully, I can understand why Everything Wrong Is Imaginary slipped under my radar; I’ve never been too impressed with the music of Lilys. Critics often seem to toss around the phrase “musical chameleon” in reference to Heasley, which some may view as a compliment, but I’ve always translated as “pleasantly unoriginal.” Philadelphia-bred Heasley formed Lilys at the dawn of the ’90s as a noisy dreampop band and recorded a couple of shoegaze-by-numbers LPs during the first half of the decade. He then took an abrupt turn into psychedelic ’60s guitar pop (complete with the requisite Rickenbacker and shaggy mod haircut), and released a few albums that attempted to out-Kink The Kinks with predictably contrived results. 2003’s Precollection found Heasley discarding much of his Small Faces fixations and moving closer toward an individual sound, which, after fifteen years now, he has undoubtedly achieved. Everything Wrong Is Imaginary is well worth the wait.

In the past, Heasley would focus on replicating, instead of interpretating, his musical obessions, whether it was the Pale Saints or The Who. Yet Everything Wrong gathers up a seemingly infinite amount of influential sources – minimalist Krautrock, hazy shoegaze drones, mechanized New Wave, late-’80s SST guitar noise, and of course, jangly ’60s pop – and somehow congeals them all into everything I could ever want in a pop record. The tunes are undeniably hummable and catchy, but there are so many bizarre and discordant elements, all of them so wonderfully out of place, that it’s difficult to truly get a grasp on the individual songs themselves. A bouncy groove will be knocked off balance by a whirring blast of feedback, an unexpected note from a cheap-sounding Casio will immediately shift the color of a chord, or Heasley will suddenly adopt a peculiar faux-British accent mid-song without explanation. Initially, it’s a bit much to take in, but repeated listens yield countless rewards, and there simply isn’t a dull spot to be found.

A sizeable chunk of the record’s success can be attributed to producer Michael Musmanno, whose aural imagination must be on the level of a younger Dave Fridmann (before he began lacing his tracks with truckloads of sterile, flatlined compression). Heasley basically sent Musmanno some home-recorded tapes of the songs, which were little more than multi-tracked skeletons with guitar, vocals, and some drum programming. Musmanno fleshed out each of the tunes with studio musicians and, more importantly, injected a distinct personality into each of them. The result is that none of the tracks share similar sonic templates and possess their own unique palettes, so to speak. What sounds like a disjointed, incoherent mess in theory actually fits together in its own jagged, unusual way; plenty of variety is rarely ever a hindrance.

“A Diana’s Diana” is a great example of the pair’s warped genius, a delicious pop confection fueled by a springy drum track and a fluid bassline that freakishly changes shape from a programmed, streamlined pulse to trebly plucks and snaps in arbitrary fashion. At times Heasley’s urgently whispered vocals give little indication of where the harmony is going, and with the bank of shimmering keyboards ricocheting around the mix, the whole production occasionally borders on chaos. It’s like tuning into a pop song from an alternate universe, only with nearby alien frequencies threatening to swallow the transmission at any moment.

“A Diana’s Diana” – Lilys 4:06 (Everything Wrong Is Imaginary, Manifesto 2006)

Disguised as they are, there are still plenty of radio-friendly hooks to be found on Everything Wrong, and if one had to choose a single, “The Night Sun Over San Juan” would be a fine candidate. The cartoonish keyboard effects scattered throughout the album are curbed here for layers of guitar, with a thickly-fuzzed one at 2:19 nearly steering the track into a noisy oblivion. Despite Musmanno’s inclusion of the dreaded “studio musicians,” what’s most enjoyable about the playing here is the sense that these guys have been around each other for years. There’s a charming sloppiness to the execution and a detectable familiarity between the musicians, so much that the notion of an overdubbed, lifeless, and “professional” recording becomes moot; this track could have been recorded on a basement eight-track with some minor post-production polish, and that’s about it.

“The Night Sun Over San Juan” – Lilys 3:45 (Everything Wrong Is Imaginary, Manifesto 2006)

Really, I could have picked any two songs from this record to showcase its weird accessibility, from the shifting mass of oceanic guitars on “Knocked on the Fortune Teller’s Door” to the sunny New Wave leanings of the instrumental title track. Although it’s not technically a “new release,” it’s the first great record I’ve heard so far this year and has my highest recommendation (eMusic also has it available for download, for those so inclined). Those debating on dropping a car payment on Lilys’ out-of-print back catalogue would do well to just pick up Everything Wrong Is Imaginary instead.

Was there any other item in 1979 that would bring a woman more carnal, orgiastic excitment than a ticket to one of Teddy Pendergrass‘ “Ladies Only” concerts? A dozen roses, a diamond ring, new car, whatever – nothing could compare to seeing TP live on stage in a bright white track suit, singing his heart out for thousands of shrieking female fans. Along with “Close the Door,” the single “Come Go with Me,” from 1979’s Teddy, is perhaps his most immediately recognizable ballad, a seductive Gamble & Huff-penned plea for a late-night bedroom escapade. It was immensely successful, further continuing Teddy’s hot streak at the time of alternating lush slow-jams with post-disco dance hits.

The extended LP version of the track, however, addends the original with a lengthy, somewhat awkward dialogue between Teddy and the object of his desire, a lone woman sitting at the bar. She plays hard to get at first, stumbling her way through excuse after excuse, but Teddy is impressively persistent, countering each defense with a smooth rebuke of his own. Ultimately, he eventually wins her over, of course. Yet if one dissects the conversation, it’s clearly evident that either his game is a little lacking, or the girl of his attention had a little something slipped in her drink when she wasn’t looking.

At the beginning of the last chorus at 3:22, the following can be heard:

TP: Come on and go with me.
Girl: Hm, hm. Hm, hm. No. No, no.
TP: Come on over to my place.
Girl: Not tonight, no.
TP: You see, it’s not far from here.
Girl: No. I’m leaving.
TP: It’ll just take a minute, if you think about it.
Girl: Oh, man.

Initially, Teddy steps to her confidently and subtly determined. Evidently unaware of Teddy’s status as Universal Sex God, she is dismissive right off the bat. In fact, she barely acknowledges him, claiming that she was just leaving. He mentions something about only taking a minute, which I’m going to interpret as the distance from the club to his crib and not his bedroom stamina, to give him the benefit of the doubt. She rolls her eyes coolly and sighs an “oh, man,” as if to say, “Not another world-class R&B superstar wanting to get me into bed.” Teddy’s standing on shaky ground here, yet he persists.

TP: Would you just think about it? Think about it, yeah.
Girl: I’m thinking about it, but I’m gonna have to say no.
TP: Come on and go with me. Come on over to my place.
Girl: No. Oh, no.
TP: You’ve been sitting in here for quite a long time.
Girl: Yeah, I’m slightly bored. I hate being bored.

Teddy backs off a little, urging her to take her time and just “think about it,” but she remains unswayed. He repeats his seductive mantra yet again. But now, instead of simply getting up and leaving as she originally intended, the girl seems to actually be entertaining the notion. Teddy recognizes this, and placates her by reminding her how long she’s been sitting here. Her response is a distant, rather dimwitted, “I’m slightly bored. I hate being bored.” Is she serious or just teasing him?

TP: You see, I’ve been watching you.
Girl: I’ve been doing the same thing.
TP: I’ve had my eyes on you.
Girl: I’ve been checking you out all night long.
TP: You look so nice, and you look so sweet.
Girl: (laughs) Oh, thank you. That was sweet.
TP: You look like you ought to be with me.
Girl: Yeah, but what are you going to do with me? That’s the problem.

Problem?!? Girl, it’s Teddy Pendergrass! What do you think is going to happen? Teddy steps up his game here with a straightforward, “I’ve been watching you,” and she returns his advances. He tells her that she looks “nice” and “sweet,” which, while not the most original or well-crafted of pick-up lines, at least generates a giggle from the woman.

TP: It seems that you feel the same way that I do.
Girl: I think it would be very interesting.
TP: It seems that you need some company, too.
Girl: Hmm. Oh, well.
TP: Yeah?
Girl: You said that your car is right out front? Right out front?
TP: Yeah.

The girl begins to wonder what would happen if she went back to his place, concluding that it would be “very interesting.” It seems that she finally gives in here, after an affirmative “oh, well” and an inquiry into the location of his car. Yet rather than grab his keys in one hand and her arm in the other and head for the door, Teddy apparently wants to prolong the cat-and-mouse game he’s playing with her. Teddy, you’ve got her – what are you doing?

Girl: And you’re gonna bring me home after a few drinks?
TP: Would it be all right with you if we left here and we went somewhere else, baby? Somewhere where it’s nice and quiet. Nice and quiet.
Girl: That’s nice. Yeah, that sounds a little bit better than this place.
TP: Where we could sit down by a cozy lit fire?
Girl: (laughs)
TP: We could sip a little wine, work things out.

Although the girl has already given her consent, Teddy inexplicably continues to entice her with a quiet atmosphere, a working fireplace, and – what else? – alcohol. Nevertheless, it works, as she laughs again and admits that “nice and quiet” is marginally superior to her current surroundings. What Teddy means by “work things out” is yet to be determined – possibly an oblique reference to a sensual massage?

Girl: Well, I cannot stay long. It would be about an hour, no more than that.
TP: Baby, you won’t be under any kind of pressure.
Girl: Please, I cannot stand pressure.
TP: I wouldn’t do that, baby, no. You see, I wouldn’t do that, baby.
Girl: Okay. Well, would you get my coat?
TP: You see, I just wanna sit down and get to know you a little better.
Girl: Okay. Just for a little while.
TP: I swear, you look so good to me.
Girl: Are you gonna pay for my drinks?

Suddenly, the girl snaps out of her mildly-drunk reverie and lays down the law, imposing a time limit by telling him that he has roughly an hour with her. Teddy, sensing that perhaps he pushed her too far, calms her by insisting that he won’t put any pressure on her. Right. She asks him to grab her coat for her – score! – but Teddy seems unaware of what’s actually happening, as he retreads the same tired one-liners he was using at the beginning of the conversation. Even though he’s unable to play it cool, she is unfazed, and after all, a compliment is still a compliment nonetheless. But before anyone can leave, she politely reminds him of one item that needs to be settled: the bar tab, which Teddy has inherited accordingly.

Come on, Teddy, we all know how this conversation would have really gone down:

TP: Come on and go with me. Come on over to my place.
Girl: (thump!) (sound of her body hitting the floor as she faints)

“Come Go with Me” – Teddy Pendergrass 5:51 (Teddy, The Right Stuff 1979)